Cross-roads

I'm sitting at another cross roads in my life. I just got a score back from my most recent Anatomy and Physiology Exam for the Lab portion and I did not do well at all. I remember while taking the exam(as it was an unusual way to take an exam. It was with about 20 other people and we had to go from station to station.) At any rate, in the middle of the exam I had the thought come to my mind that maybe I'm not cut out for the Medical Assisting route. I'm just not getting it into my brain and its not working. I'm not able to understand it clearly enough to be able to get good grades. I got a 44% on this last exam and I studied for it. I had been studying for some time during the past 3 weeks and I'm not understanding why I did so bad.

I've had the idea run through my mind that maybe I should change my minor but the minor that keeps coming to mind is not an "honorable" minor in my opinion. I guess I just have high hopes for myself. I've been having the idea of opening a family bakery. I am thinking about changing my minor to a culinary arts minor. But how would that help me now or even in a year or two to gain the money that I need to start paying off school loans. I had big plans with graduating with my associates in 2013 and starting to work as a medical assistant to be able to start paying off our loans. As I contemplate my options, I am stuck. I have the feeling that I will be able to do whatever the Lord has planned for me. I know that He won't let me do something that will completely destroy me. Yet, I get excited about the Culinary Arts minor and I am excited about the Medical Assisting minor as well.

I just have this fear that I won't be able to support my family with a good occupation. I want the best for my children and my wife yet I won't be able to start working as a councilor until after I graduate with my masters. What am I going to do until that moment arrives? I can't just open up a shop to have this bakery with a ton of debt and I won't be able to start the business off nicely without money. What am I supposed to do. I sometimes have the thought that I will be able to pass my anatomy and physiology class but then I also have the thought that I won't be able to and that I'm just going to be in deep trouble once it comes time for the end of the semester. I honestly don't have any clue on what I need to do. All I know is that God lives. Jesus is the Christ. I know that I love serving other people and that I want to always give my service and help those that stand in need. I've also discovered recently that I have a hard time receiving help because I feel that I am able to help myself. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only true Church on the Earth. When I say that, I mean that it is the only Church that has the COMPLETENESS of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I pray that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will help me through my journey on this Earth so that I can become the best servant that I can be. That I will be able to support my family and give the kind of life to my children that I never had.

Funny thing is, I know that not many people read this blog but it is my way of writing in my journal. I type a lot faster than I do writing and I don't feel like I am using as much time typing as I do writing out in a notebook. I have yet to find the best way to type in a journal but having my entries be organized. I hope that I will be able to find answers to my current problems. Oh did I mention that registration for Fall Semester is next week and I am stuck with this dillemma?!?!? I guess I have to move forward with faith and pray that Heavenly Father will continue to bless me. I need to hurry and finish reading a few articles for an essay that was due yesterday that I wasn't able to finish. Life keeps ticking even when we don't want it to sometimes. Hopefully we'll talk later! :)